Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The police scanner is talking about you again....
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
