Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
