I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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