we're chasing vodka with high fives
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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