hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
if only i could text you this smell
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
