hotel room ftw
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
