im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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