I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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