Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
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