The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
