The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
