It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
