I want to stick my p in your. b.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
