suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize