saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
