I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
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