i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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