Well apparently he's into motor boating.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
