I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
