Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
