My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
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