i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
