At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
