I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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