Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
