I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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