I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
