I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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