we have officially lost it.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
