I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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