If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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