what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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