So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
