Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
