What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
When did angry sex become our thing?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
