Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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