my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
