Your tits are I can't wait for
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
