when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
