My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
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