wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
