i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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