what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Someone signed my nipple.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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