so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
