U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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