I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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