So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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