I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
