i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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