just tell him i said nine months
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
