it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
