Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
