just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
