How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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