Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
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You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
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Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.