Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face