i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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