and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
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I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
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Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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