well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
farters have to be the big spoon...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
