i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Also, beer. Big fan.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize