There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he was CRYING into my vagina
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
